(Author Unknown)Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my four children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my son's boy scout uniform with staples and a glue gun.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month two pregnancies ago.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with three kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season.
Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel ALL my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Today we kicked off the Christmas season! After we hung the garland over the door and put the last decorations on the tree, we took the kids out to see A Christmas Carol at the Hale Centre Theatre. The kids had never been to a play so this was a new experience for them and Alex was the only one who was familiar with the story. The play was fabulous and they kids really enjoyed it.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tonight we enjoyed watching Alex perform on violin in the fifth and sixth grade orchestra recital. She played Carol of the Bells, one of my favorite Christmas songs, in a violin duet and did wonderfully.
Alex is very musically talented. She’s been playing piano, fiddle, drums, and bass guitar. After just a little more practice, we should put this one-girl band downtown to earn some cash!